Forgiveness is a Declaration of Authority. And it's Healing. #3

September 2022: I updated the segment about the dangerously risky phrase, “I am enough.”

Forgiveness supports healing. And not just psychological or spiritual healing. I’m also thinking of physical maladies, like the example I mention in the video below.

Living in victimhood drains your power. You are separated from your power. This separation is experienced as a lack of wholeness, an incompleteness. To heal is to restore wholeness. Victimhood consciousness is a state in need of healing and a state that blocks healing.

Forgiveness is the remedy. It declares authority. It declares your authority over yourself. When you forgive, you declare that you hold authority over you, not the one who attacked you. Forgiving denies the attack your permission to govern you.

When you don’t forgive, you grant the attack authority. You grant it the authority to lessen you. You diminish. “I’m trying to forgive” is the same as “I seek vengeance.”

Vengeance is an attempt to fill the hole inside with something wrested from another. It’s fool’s gold. Forgiveness is the real gold. People who forgive heal better.

I explain in the video to be cautious so that you don’t use the following words and phrases against yourself: “My truth,” “I am enough,” “empower,” and “should.”

Video Content Timeline

  • A patient with pelvic pain who healed only after forgiveness [0:46]

  • Definition of healing [2:28]

  • Victimhood consciousness obstructs healing [3:10]

  • Entitlenment is a red flag for victimhood consciousness [7:15]

  • The King, Queen, and the Victim archetypes have something in common [7:20]

  • Victimhood demands that others be punished [9:27]

  • How one’s power flows when in victimhood [9:54]

  • The antidote to victimhood consciousness is forgiveness [10:34]

  • Forgiveness is a declaration of authority [10:48]

  • Words have only the power that we grant them [12:02]

  • “I’m trying to forgive” means “I seek vengeance” [12:58]

  • How vengeance is fool’s gold and forgiveness is real gold [13:29]

  • An example of personal power from a back-seat driver [15:08]

  • How does one forgive? [17:34]

    • Have a practice that brings attention to your body because your body is never in the past or future and isn’t lying to you, unlike your mind [20:48]

  • Book: The Book of Forgiving [22:43]

  • Four things you say to coddle your victimhood [23:45]

    • “My truth” [24:43]

    • “I am enough” and a critique of the Magic Mirror video [26:19]

    • “Empowering” [31:15]

    • “Should” [33:38]

  • Questions to ask: What is the authority in my life? What do I kneel to? [35:00]

Resources

1. The book I mention is The Book of Forgiving by Desmond Tutu and Mpho Tutu.

2. I recommend this video from Caroline Myss on forgiveness, healing, and apologies (click here).

3. If you want to apologize anonymously by written word or spoken, you can try the following:

John Fuhrman